Wednesday, April 22, 2009

april 22, 2009

dear jordin,

did you think your mama had dropped off the edge of the earth?

i don't know how, but somehow i'm still here,
still kicking and much to some other family members' chagrin,
hanging in there pretty darn well.

i thought i saw you walking down hwy 46 the other day joe.
something about this fellow's height, his walk or his way of carrying
himself reminded me so much of you. you must be on my mind more
than i think because when i'm out doing my afternoon/evening
chores, i find myself listening for you too.

it makes me so sad, joe, that there is this huge jordin sized hole
in our lives now. i admit to some days being relieved that i'm not
waiting for the next phone call telling us you're in jail again, or in
some kind of personal crisis. but i'd take all the anguish back again
just to see your face or hear your laugh.

we've had no word from aly about your son, again.
this time for over a year. once in a while someone will see her dad
around town, but he is never forthcoming with her phone number
and only promises to relay the message that we miss her and
would love to see justin again.

dad and james have had a new pond dug in the front pasture.
it's huge....much bigger than i originally thought it would be.
i think i'll claim a little corner of the bank and make myself a little
meditation spot where i can go and ponder things.
you would love it.......
i can see you swinging out across it on a rope swing,
whooping and hollering before you hit the water!
my silly silly boy!

i love you jordin, save me a seat.....i'll be there in a little while.


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