Dear Jordin,

Your mama is getting pretty tired, now.

I love you, keep saving that seat for me!

Mom

i wish we'd known...

6 years ago today. or was it really only yesterday?

some days i don't know. some days i can't tell.

i only know that you're gone and that i ache for you.

we all ache for you.

i cannot seem to get beyond how you must have felt.

what your last moments on this earth walk must have been.

oh jordin, how i wish we'd have recognized your pain.

i would have gladly taken it from you, if i'd known.

i wish i could have helped you see that it would get better.

please forgive us all.

you are sorely missed and very loved.

save your mama a seat, son.

i'll see you in a little while

happy birthday, son

dear jordin,

i have a responsibility to those i love

to be loving, patient, considerate and kind

to be loyal, respectful and honest

to be appreciative, encouraging and comforting

to share myself and care for myself

to be the best possible "me"

BUT

i am not responsible for them

not for their achievements, successes or triumphs

not for their joy, gratification or fullfillment

not for their defeats, failures or disappointments

and NOT for their suicide

for had i been responsible

your death would not have occurred.

~author unknown

another birthday...without you.

who was it that said it got easier with time?

they lied.

the jordin sized hole in my heart stays the same.

still raw around the edges,

still aching with the loss of you

save your mama a seat, son

i'll be there in just a little while

i'll love you, forever and a day

mom

Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.

I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.

All I have are memories and a picture in a frame.

Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part.

God has you in His keeping, I have you in my heart♥ .

happy birthday jordin

here we are, observing your 3oth birthday without you.
are you watching son? do you see us eating your birthday dinner?
do you feel us missing you? loving you?

can you hear the sound of your mama's heart breaking, again?

when does it get easier jordin? when does the hurting stop?
i miss you so very very much and days like this, when we should
be able to hug you and wish you happiness only reminds us of
our loss.

i simply don't have any more words right now except i love you.
i love you and i miss you and i'd give anything to see you smile today.

save your mama a seat, son. i'll be there in just a little while!

from friends who haven't forgotten:

Dear Jayedee,

I am thinking of you today and of your precious child, Jordin.
My son's birthday recently passed also. I know how very difficult it is.
I really, really tried to think of happy memories of my Daniel,
which I was able to do, but bittersweet memories they are
and they still bring tears. I hope that you are able to spend the day the way
that you want to and that it is as gentle on you as possible.
I am sending you sisterly love and hugs!

Suzanne
Mama of Daniel...

A beautiful human being
8/23/84 - 1/3/08

Jayedee,

Today, as you remember your sweet Jordin on his birthday,
know I am here in Pa. holding you so very close to my heart.
May only happy memories find you today.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Jaydee ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Mindi -Michael's mom, 7/24/77-5/23/01

Dear Jayedee,

My wish for you is that you will have a day filled with many memories
of happier times with your precious Jordin.

Take care and peaceful thoughts.
Shirley
Ma to Katie and Adam ( a survivor also)
5/15/75 - 9/10/03

Dear Jayedee & family,

We know you are on no POS mail but we are sending POSitive thoughts and
holding you in our hearts on the Birth Date of Jordin.
May the happier memories help to ease the pain and may the day pass
as peaceful as it can. A candle is lit here in England for Jordin
and all the POS children. Take care.

(((((((((((((((Jayedee & family ---- Jordin's Mom & family)))))))))))))))

With love and in friendship,

Bob (Moderator) and Lynda of Watford, England

Parents of Darren, 15th December 1978-31st August 1998

Died by hanging whilst he was on holiday in France

May our children's spirits continue to fly, on....on, into the great blue yonder

"Loved today, yesterday and forever more"

"Forever In Our Hearts"

Jayedee
Please try remember that tomarrow was a special birthday.
1979 was the year you gave birth to a wonderful special baby boy
You loved him with all your heart and you will always love him
and even though JORDIN can not be with you physically JORDIN is
still with you emotionally and spiritually.
Try to remember the day of his birth and his 1st Birthday and
all the ones you did have with him. Remember HE still loves YOU too.
Please be gentle to yourself today, tomorrow and always

Debra ~ mother of Shawn Preston Rego
who died at age 15 by passive hanging two months before his 16 B-day
May 29, 1990 - March 22, 2006 Forever 15


((((((Jayedee))))))

I'm still here, holding you close in my heart on your precious Jordin's Birth Date today.
I hope that you have a peaceful day full of beautiful memories of cherished birthdays,
together with your sweet son and may you be able to celebrate the wonderful 25 years
of life that your dear Jordin was with you. Take care Jaydee, today and always.

Love and Friendship, Debbie, Mom of Alicia Ann, Manitoba, Canada
^i^ALICIA ANN LAWLESS~September 25, 1984 - September 29, 2002~
18 Years 4 Days
Forever Young^i^

august 21, 2009

thank you, joe, for this song. i never knew you even listened to madonna!



Keep, keep it together
Keep people together forever and ever

I got brothers, I got some sisters too
Stuck in the middle tell you what I'm gonna do
Gonna get out of here, I'm gonna leave this place
So I can forget every single hungry face
I'm tired of sharing all the hand me downs
To get attention I must always be the clown
I wanna be different, I wanna be on my own
But Daddy said listen, you will always have a home

Chorus:

Keep it together in the family
They're a reminder of your history
Brothers and sisters they hold the key
To your heart and your soul
Don't forget that your family is gold

I hit the big time but I still get the blues
Everyone's a stranger, city life can get to you
People can be so cold, never want to turn your back
Just givin' to get something
Always wanting something back
When I get lonely and I need to be
Loved for who I am, not what they want to see
Brothers and sisters, they've always been there for me
We have a connection, home is where the heart should be

(chorus)

Intermediate:

When I look back on all the misery
And all the heartache that they brought to me
I wouldn't change it for another chance
'Cause blood is thicker than any other circumstance

When I get lonely and I need to be
Loved for who I am, not what they want to see
Brothers and sisters, they've always been there for me
We have a connection, home is where the heart should be

(intermediate)
(chorus)

Keep, keep it together
Keep people together forever and ever
(repeat and fade)

august 20, 2009

i'm trying, baby, i'm trying. they're SO resistant to change!


i love you, forever and a day,
mom